GOING MAD
by girlofcandy
Summary: MA is alec going insane? or is there something else? read and found out
1. Chapter 1

**okay, itsabout a yearafter the last episode of DA season 2. the familiars are almost gone yada da da**

**its MA fic**

**a bit angsty**

**hopefully it will getbetter**

**dont own anything. sad buttrue hehe**

**reviews would be great(be nice)**

Max froze at the scene. He had be gone a week without telling anyone, not even Joshua. Damn him for making her worrying about his sorry ass. She couldn't help feeling a big relief that he was okay.

Slowly she stood behind, "you are not thinking about jumping are ya? I hate to save your sorry ass" she didn't get a reply. It was strange. Then she saw the bottle of whisky in his hand and four empty ones. "Alec?" she said more worried. Her hand didn't reach his shoulder until he slapped it away.

"Maxie, haven't you heard the phrase don't play with fire, well am fire"

"Don't call me Maxie, Alec"

"What? Do it remind you of Ben?" he said it mockingly. She froze once again. "but you killed him didn't you? And now I have his face, and you have to see it al the time… how does it feel. Seeing your psyco brothers face?"

Alec looked at her taking another sip. "stop it Alec" she was shaking with anger

"Do me a favour and leave me the hell alone" he said with a cold voice. He took another sip looking out at the city.

"Why? The space needle is not yours" she said slowly. He had a whole different vibe around him, a vibe she wasn't familiar with. Not at al.

"Then I leave, it is what you always have wished for" he stood up brushing of the dust. His cloths where wet, it had rain that morning, but the way he looked. It seemed that he hadn't moved from that spot for days. His eyes where dull, and he had a bit of beard.

Max grabbed his arm but he replied shook it of. She took a step back "what's wrong Alec? You been gone for a week. Everyone has been worried, Joshua wanted to have a searching team. Even if the Familiars are gone, it doesn't mean that we are safe" he just looked at her coldly

"Are you done?"

"Why are you acting this way?" she said frustrated, over the past year they got really close as friends. Even if they didn't always agree they stood behind each other, even if it was more Alec that had her back. And she missed that.

"None of your business Max" he took another sip and Max grabbed the bottle away from him "give it back Max" he said threaten.

"No" she didn't have the chance to react, he pushed her down pinning her down.

"When I say something, you listen! Now leave me the hell alone or I swear Max. I am going to hurt you" he said it so seriously that it broke Max heart. Tears wanted to fall but she didn't allow it.

He left her shaken on the roof, it started to rain again. Al the memories came back, _no no no_ were the words that was repeating in his head. He started to run and run. Blurring throw the streets of Seattle.

It wouldn't stop, he got to the forest. Almost collapsing he crawled the last miles to the ruin that once was Manticore. Al the memories where coming back to fast. _Rachel_.

"I'm sorry, am sorry Rachel. I'm so sorry!" He screamed in pain. "Its my fault, its my fault" he was broken. Losing his mind.

"I'm not BEN! I'm not BEN!" the voices in his head were screaming lauder and lauder. "STOP IT!" he looked at his hand and there where bloody. He tried to wipe it off but it wouldn't go away. The rain wouldn't help him. Nobody would.

He had to make it stop, he had to make it al stop.


	2. autornote

okay is anyone intressed in this story?

give me some loving P


	3. chapter 2

**It was so cold, so cold. And darkness swallowed him whole. **

**The whispers got lauder and lauder, the pain that got of the voices let him almost numbed, he wished he could be completely numbed,**

**to not feel this pain and raw anger inside of him. **

**It was like his big black pit was open and everything he did in his past came to life. It got its own energy leaving his energy low. **

**It claimed him taking over him.**

**Some one was there, a dark shadow. _Rachel._ He stood up walking to her, she just stood there not moving a bit. **

**Slowly he reached with his hand towards her. And she smiled cruelly. With a dagger she stabbed him right in the chest.**

**He stumble backwards holding the hand where she had struck him with the dagger, with pained eyes he looked at Rachel that walked forward advancing him. **

**Alec felled down, and one brick cracked open a piece of his scull. **

"**Rachel" he said hoarsely. His eyes showed only pain. **

"**You killed me!" she started to strangle him. "Murderer!" she started to scream, Alec's eyes got watery of the tears. She let him go walking around him. "poor Simon, or is it Alec, but Max named you that? Is that really you?... 494, that's you name, a killer, murderer 494" she bend down whispering in his ear. "make the pain stop 494, kill your self"**

"**No" he said weekly, she slapped his face**

"**You killed me! And you claimed you loved me. You deserve to die you know that, i know that. Make it easy 494, do it" she said with eager. "do it 494!" **

**Alec looked at her, he was bleeding. Dying, maybe it would be better if he died, no one cared about him.**

"**Joshua. Joshua cares"**

"**You killed Annie" she replied with poison voice.**

"**NO! WHITE DID" Alec said trying to find inner force, Joshua cared about him, right?**

"**No, you told him to push Annie away, leading him heart broken that made him go her house that led them to the sewers, leading to her death. See, everything you touch dies" **

**Alec shook his eyes, trying to be small as possible. "no, you are not real"**

"**Maybe not. Kill your self 494, you have no reason to live. None, don't even think about Max, she hates you. Pity you even, she sees Ben, not you, she hates you"**

"**Leave me alone!" Alec closed his eyes and then opened them, no Rachel "Rachel? Come back!" he started to sobbing, he felt pathetic so pathetic. Cutting his skin open with the knife there. Cutting into his arm "I'm sorry"**

**(Earlier same day)**

**Max saw Joshua painting sadly "Joshua I need your help" Joshua looked down to Max**

"**What does little fella need" Joshua put the paint brush down and walked to Max that was shaking. "Max sick?" he asked worried**

"**No, I just have this weird feeling" she looked into Joshua's eyes looking into the paining that was a painting of Alec while he was sleeping on the floor using Joshua's shirt as a pillow. "About Alec, its like his…" she interrupted her self no knowing how to explain. "Like he needs me"**

"**Medium fella reaches for you"**

"**How?" Max knew that Joshua was wise in that way, he knew about things she would never have knowledge of. **

"**Max and Alec same soul" Joshua said like it was obvious knowledge "Alec's soul seeks Max's" he touched Max heart lovingly. "Find him"**

"**I don't even know where to look" Max said tired, she wanted Alec to be home now. Home with her.**

"**Close your eyes and find him" Max did what she was told. And had a flashback**

_ALEC: Hey, Max. Thought I'd find you here. _

_MAX: I come here to be alone. _

_ALEC: Yeah, I know, but considering everything that went down today, I figured we could both use a friend right now. _

_MAX: Sit down. (Alec sits) _

_ALEC: So, you got any deep thoughts you want to share? Any, uh, profound realizations about life? _

_MAX: Yeah. Love sucks. _

**End of flashback.**

**Max ran out of the apartment leading her to the space needle.**

**(Present time)**

**Sitting on her baby she was riding to Manticore with al the speed her baby could manage. **

**She had to save Alec, who ever that made him crazy would pay bit for now she had to find him.**

**He would not end up like Ben, not at al. Alec was stronger than that. Much stronger. She would never ever wanna se the look of lost in Alec's eyes. **

**Max just knew that Alec was there and he needed her bad because the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach told her so. **

**Max stopped the bike and followed her instinct and what she saw made her feel sick. **

**Alec was wearing his boxer, he was al wet from the rain, she carefully took steps towards Alec that was holding a knife against his arms cutting. He was al bloody and his skin was open. And he was speaking to him self mumbling things. When she heard the name Rachel her eyes widened. **

"**Alec, please can you hear me" she saw as Alec curled as a ball trying not to be there.**

"**You are not real go away!" he said desperately. Max took some step forward again.**

"**Can you give me the knife?" she stood in front of him offering her hand, Max was trying to keep her voice steady but it cracked a little bit.**

"**Why?" he said looking at her.**

"**Please Alec" he was giving her the knife when he looked behind her and took the knife back.**

"**Rachel says your not real" he said looking down, almost playing with the blood. He was pale, dying. Making a decision Max blurred to him grabbing the knife from him throwing it far away.**

**Pulling of her sweeter she tried to stop the bleeding. Alec just watched her, almost looking innocent. "Alec, Rachel is dead remember?" she grabbed his armed when he tried to push her away. He started to protest, it started to rain again.**

**He looked up on the sky "leave me alone Max" he said looking into her eyes and for a brief moment she could se the real Alec.**

"**No" was al she said before knocking him out, caring him to her bike making shore that he wouldn't fall of. Riding them to Terminal City she carried him to their small hospital.**

**The X5 and some (nominees) where shocked when they saw Alec al bloody. Max left Alec running to Joshua in tears.**

**Joshua opened the door before she could knock**

"**Alec's home"  
**

"**Joshua he is…"**

"**Hurt" Joshua finished the sentence for Max.**

"**I can't go there just yet"**

"**Little Fella needs to be strong now" she nodded. Walking with her to the room where Alec laid on a bed restrained. Looking up the ceiling speaking in words no one could understand accept Joshua it seemed. Joshua slowly took the restraining off.**

"**Joshua, no. He got violent when we tried to patch him up" the (nominee) that was cleaning Alec's leg watched carefully as Joshua stroked Alec cheek.**

**Max frowned as Joshua spoke to Alec in a different language. She watched as Alec desperately held Joshua's arm and tears where falling from Alec's eyes. Joshua howled sadly then angry to Alec that backed away. Covering his face in his hands. **

**(sorry its boring in the ending... im feeling to depress)**


	4. Chapter 3

**Am cleansing my computer so here is a half chapter I started a long time ago.**

* * *

Max could only watch Alec sit in corner mumbling to him self, speaking almost in tongs. She wanted him back. She wanted her Alec back. 

Alec started to bang his head against the wall again, she blurred there and grabbed his shoulders "Alec, no!"

"GO away, such…" he had desperation in his eyes. Joshua walked in to the room with some fish, he offered it to Alec that accepted it and started to eat. Like a cat he smelled on it licking it and started to eat.

Joshua stroked Alec's head "Alec eat now" suddenly Alec threw the fish away and screamed

"Poison, am not letting you know nothing about the mission!" he said throatily, banging his head again.

"There is no mission Alec"

"Rachel says there is one"

"She is dead!" she knew it want a good move but she was frustrated. It had been two days since they send a message to Lydeker.

"NO, NO, NO!" He screamed running to the other side of the room but Joshua stopped him

"Rachel lives" Alec calmed down "she lives here" Joshua pointed to Alec's head. His eye's where red. "Alec needs to come back now" he said calmly.

"Who is Alec?" he answered calmly. He frowned; he stood up like nothing was wrong. Max watched him with painful eyes.

"You are Alec"

"Bad you're bad" he whispered to him self and cuddled in him self again. Max grabbed his hands and shook him roughly

"Alec come back now!" she demanded but he shook his head. Max screamed in frustration she knew it was a bad move because Alec pushed her roughly. But then grabbed her close, he looked at her innocent and touched her face.

"Don't cry Max, it will be okay" he said it calmly and walked over to his corner to disappear again.

* * *

**I do have a reason why Alec gone al mad its al in my head it just need to get out. i think if i write the other chapter it will be the last one. then the story is done... **


End file.
